dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
