you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
