so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
