Come see our sink grown plant.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
