You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
