I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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