Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
