I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
