did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
