Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
