How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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