No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
