When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
