yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
