sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
