dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
