I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
its liver damage thursday
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
