I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
