i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
