I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
