Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
