i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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