how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
