i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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