what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do vagina's smell?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
