I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
