Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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