My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You can't motorboat a personality
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
