he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
