and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The air taste purple.
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