And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
All the doctor said was why
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
