fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
