Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
