ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
