Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
