help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
