adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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