if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
where does the pee come out of this thing
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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