Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
