If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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