I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
