Dual....:-)
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
