problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
