the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He shit in the fireplace
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