I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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