last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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