a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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