I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
