Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
