Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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