I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
